Table of ContentsAcknowledgments ix Show
Introduction xi 1 Intimacy with Fear 1 2 When Things Fall Apart 7 3 This Very Moment Is the Perfect Teacher 13 4 Relax As It Is 19 5 It's Never Too Late 25 6 Not Causing Harm 31 7 Hopelessness and Death 37 8 Eight Worldly Dharmas 45 9 Six Kinds of Loneliness 51 10 Curious about Existence 59 11 Nonaggression and the Four Maras 65 12 Growing Up 73 13 Widening the Circle of Compassion 79 14 The Love That Will Not Die 87 15 Going against the Grain 93 16 Servants of Peace 97 17 Opinions 107 18 Secret Oral Instructions 113 19 Three Methods for Working with Chaos 119 20 The Trick of Choicelessness 127 21 Reversing the Wheel of Samsara 137 22 The Path Is the Goal 143 Afterword to the 20th Anniversary Edition 147 Bibliography 151 Resources 153 When Things Fall Apart: Tibetan Buddhist Nun and Teacher Pema Chödrön on Transformation Through Difficult Times“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.”By Maria PopovaIn every life, there comes a time when we are razed to the bone of our resilience by losses beyond our control — lacerations of the heart that feel barely bearable, that leave us bereft of solid ground. What then? “In art,” Kafka assured his teenage walking companion, “one must throw one’s life away in order to gain it.” As in art, so in life — so suggests the American Tibetan Buddhist nun and teacher Pema Chödrön. In When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (public library), she draws on her own confrontation with personal crisis and on the ancient teachings of Tibetan Buddhism to offer gentle and incisive guidance to the enormity we stand to gain during those times when all seems to be lost. Half a century after Albert Camus asserted that “there is no love of life without despair of life,” Chödrön reframes those moments of acute despair as opportunities for befriending life by befriending ourselves in the deepest sense. “Liminal Worlds” by Maria Popova. Available as a print.Writing in that Buddhist way of wrapping in simple language the difficult and beautiful truths of existence, Chödrön examines the most elemental human response to the uncharted territory that comes with loss or any other species of unforeseen change:
This clarity, Chödrön argues, is a matter of becoming intimate with fear and rather than treating it as a problem to be solved, using it as a tool with which to dismantle all of our familiar structures of being, “a complete undoing of old ways of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and thinking.” Noting that bravery is not the absence of fear but the intimacy with fear, she writes:
In essence, this is the hard work of befriending ourselves, which is our only mechanism for befriending life in its completeness. Out of that, Chödrön argues, arises our deepest strength: “Broken/hearted” by Maria Popova. Available as a print. Decades after Rollo May made his case for the constructiveness of despair, Chödrön considers the fundamental choice we have in facing our unsettlement — whether with aggressive aversion or with generative openness to possibility:
Half a century after Alan Watts began introducing Eastern teachings into the West with his clarion call for presence as the antidote to anxiety, Chödrön points to the present moment — however uncertain, however difficult — as the sole seedbed of wakefulness to all of life: Illustration by Lisbeth Zwerger from a special edition of the Brothers Grimm fairy tales Remaining present and intimate with the moment, she argues, requires mastering maitri — the Buddhist practice of loving-kindness toward oneself, that most difficult art of self-compassion. She contrasts maitri with the typical Western therapy and self-help method of handling crises:
Another Buddhist concept at odds with our Western coping mechanisms is the Tibetan expression ye tang che. Chödrön explains its connotations, evocative of Camus’s insistence on the vitalizing power of despair:
Decades after Simone de Beauvoir’s proclamation about atheism and the ultimate frontier of hope, Chödrön points out that at the heart of Buddhism’s approach is not the escapism of religion but the realism of secular philosophy. And yet these crude demarcations fail to capture the subtlety of these teachings. She clarifies: Art from The Lion and the Bird by Marianne Dubuc Only through such active self-compassion to our own darkness, Chödrön suggests, can we begin to offer authentic light to anybody else, to become a force of radiance in the world. She writes:
Complement the immensely grounding and elevating When Things Fall Apart with Camus on strength of character in times of trouble, Erich Fromm on what self-love really means, and Nietzsche on why a fulfilling life requires embracing rather than running from difficulty, then revisit Chödrön on the art of letting go. What to read after when things fall apart?Similar recommendations. 5 people. 7 Powers. Hamilton Helmer.. 28 people. 28 people. 28 person. ... . 15 people. 15 people. 15 person. ... . 4 people. The God Delusion. Richard Dawkins.. 5 people. Waking Up. Sam Harris.. 13 people. 13 people. 13 person. ... . 4 people. The Essential Rumi. Jalal Al Din Rumi.. 5 people. Tiny Beautiful Things. Cheryl Strayed.. Which Pema Chödrön book to read first?The Wisdom of No Escape
The words inside, Pema's wisdom, and everything she talks about was something people are crazy about and eager to learn from. If you feel like reading Pema Chödrön's books in order, then this is the one to start with.
Does Pema Chodron still teach?Pema currently teaches in the United States and Canada and plans for an increased amount of time in solitary retreat under the guidance of Venerable Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche.
What to do when things fall apart?Self-Care for When Things Fall Apart. 1) Breathing. So simple and so powerful, yet so easily forgotten. ... . 2) Staying present. ... . 3) Being kind to yourself. ... . 4) Looking after your basic needs as best as you can. ... . 5) Finding an outlet for release.. |